It's funny how a small piece of plastic can bring happiness.
This past week I had the distinct pleasure of being a substitute at a local Jr. High School teaching 9th grade math and science in one classroom from Monday through Wednesday and Geometry on Thursday and Friday. Since I have been hired as a substitute replacement for a ninth grade math teacher on maternity leave beginning Monday the 10th (after next week's Spring Break), it was a good thing to be able to get into the Oakland Bay Jr. High School in Shelton, WA to get a feel for the place that I would be working for the next 2 1/2 months.
As you may know, the substitute teacher is a bit lower on the food chain than plankton, but takes up a good deal more space. The front office loves the substitute as the farmer loves a full corn crib. The teacher justifies having one in their room because it's better to take a sick day at the golf course and get paid for it since this is in your contract. The pieces can always be picked up later; besides, it's fashionable to complain about how bad the sub was when you get back.
"Can you believe that she just handed out the worksheets and then played solitaire for the rest of the hour while the kids dismantled three light fixtures?"
"She'll never be in MY classroom again, I assure you!"
"He was so disorganized, he made Charlie Brown's friend Pigpen look like Richard Simmons on a good hair day."
The students find them fascinating. At first they walk into the room and ask," We have ANOTHER sub?" Then they ask when their regular teacher will be back. This is to get the sub used to the idea that the students hope he or she sinks lower than her nautical namesake. They then try out a few of the tried and true tricks.
"Can I use the bathroom?"
"Can we study in the hall?"
"Can I use the phone?"
"I have to leave ten minutes early from class today because I have a doctor's or dentist's or chiropractor's appointment."
"Do you have a note or permission slip?" asks the sub.
"My teacher never makes us have one," replies the young fork-tongued teen with eyes now turned narrow and stealthy.
The state of Washington expects substitutes to be state certified. This means that they pay upwards to 60,000 dollars in government loan dollars to make $17,500 during the school year and another 3300 bucks in unemployment during the summer. The employment agency, though, will hassle them for a month before releasing any checks so that the mortgage check requires an extra $50 for the late fees. The sub gets it from all sides - Makes you wonder if they are considered middle management with a plethora of pointy-haired bosses (see your comic section for a Dilbert cartoon).
Getting back to the part about the piece of plastic: Since I am going to be teaching in the same classroom for the rest of the year, I asked if I'd get to be a real person with a nametag that had my name on it or would I have to be a "guest" teacher for two months. The secretary assured me that my name tag had already been ordered. There was a bit of a backlog at the printers but he said it'd be there in a day or two.
Skip to Friday second hour. While I was teaching, in walked a student with a message from the office. Here was my name tag. I turned to the class and said, "Look, I'm now a REAL PERSON!" They gave me an ovation. Hmmm, I think I'm going to like it here.
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